And then the professor and I made a coconut phone ...

I found coconuts at the asian market for $0.69 each.  I have never, in my life to this point, done anything with a whole coconut.  So, naturally I bought it.  And let it languish on my counter for a week before I realized inspiration would not beat me over the head.  So I turned to the internet for guidance.  I started with how in the heck do I open a coconut? and then moved on to something I could do with the actual coconut meat.  Will start with the how and move on to the what ...

* Locate your sad little coconut face *

* Knock something through the eyes and drain the coconut water to save for later.  I started with tiny little nails, but moved on to larger things like screwdrivers *

* Drain coconut water. I got about 3/4 cup out of this bad boy *

* Beat around the middle of the coconut with a hammer to crack it open. This is the fun part. *

After you get it open, you have to pry the meat out and then peel the thin, wooden skin from the back.  I don't have pictures of this part, but you need a strong knife and a strong arm.

So, now you have coconut meat.  What can you do with it?  I've been reading about Artisana Coconut Butter a lot (mostly on chocolatecoveredkatie ... that girl loves some coconut butter!).  I haven't had a chance to buy some of this glorious spread, but I have definitely wanted to try it.  What better thing to do than try to make my own, right?  So, onto the interwebs I went.  I found a lot of recipes for making coconut butter at home, but they all started with coconut flakes, not whole, raw coconut.  This one seemed promising, so I went with it.

I dehydrated the coconut meat in my toaster oven at a low setting for about an hour, then dumped it all in my blender and went to work.  I blended that stuff for probably 15 minutes total, and couldn't get past this stage:

I can really only describe this as "fluff", never quite getting the buttery consistency I hoped for.  I jarred up my fluff to save for toppings and sandwich fillings, but I'm not sure what went wrong.  I found a few answers here.  This home coconut cook actually seemed to be trying to get this fluff (which she oddly gave the same name!).  She used thai coconuts to make coconut butter and brown coconuts for fluff, and I suppose therein lay my downfall.  Luckily, the blog has some ideas for coconut fluff usage, so all is not lost.  All-in-all, I'd say it was a successful venture and gave me something to do all day Sunday :)

If you're looking for a great way to spend a few minutes, head over to Vegan Crunk to enter to win a copy of American Vegan Kitchen!